Coming into June this year makes me think in an unrelated
sort of fashion of my work overseas. It is 2 years now since I stopped.
And June makes me realise that by some sort of mischance or whatever
you may call it, I remember that for all my years working overseas I
always seemed to be away from Ireland for those magical spring and summer months of
May,June and July .
One of those times was a spell in Niger back in the first half of the noughties - when locusts and other factors had caused a major food shortage and subsequent severe malnutrition in that country. I was working with a humanitarian aid agency who had set up several nutrition programmes in northern Niger bordering the desert.The desert at the edge of the town was like another country, another continent, such was the feeling of vastness emnating from it along with an echoing emptiness. We were supporting a community based programme for children with severe acute malnutrition. They were treated at a health centre once a week and returned weekly for follow up. Meanwhile we also needed to visit them in their houses, entailing many forays into villages scattered out in the desert. Walking from house to house in the shimmering, screamingly hot heat became a permanent quest for even the tiniest sliver of shade. Thank goodness the houses which were round ,bee hived shaped huts were cool inside.
The beehive shaped houses typical of northern Niger |
Another memory I have of this time was when evening was
approaching and we would be finishing up our work. Driving back to the
town we would see herds of goats being shepherded along by a lone boy
with a staff in his hand - an almost biblical scene . The boy and goats
would wend their way through the small villages dotted against desert
hill back drops. Every now and then a few goats would decant themselves
from the main herd and make their way over to a beehive shaped hut and
wait patiently at the entrance. This pattern would be repeated with the
herd slowly shrinking as the evening went on. This daily evening ritual fascinated me because there was always the eternal question . How did
these animals know out of all the hundreds of beehive huts they would
pass - which one was their home?
One late afternoon as the searing heat of the day was starting
to blissfully mellow towards evening I was sitting in one of the
hundreds of beehive huts dotted around this desert area of Northern
Niger. I was following up on one of the children who were registered in
the nutrition programme. The hut contained nothing but a small mattress,
a 3 legged stool and a chest. The chest was beautiful, embossed with
different types of wood and painted with swirling gold and other
coloured designs.Probably a wedding gift. The said child was sitting on the chest swinging
his legs against it, drawing out gentle remonstrations from his mother who was
sitting beside me ( children are the same the world over - ergo: child at
the back of you on a Ryanair flight swinging his legs into the back of
your seat and his mother murmuring mild remonstrations to him -
gradually scaling up to a testy " "Stop kicking that lady's seat right
now!") The child's mother and I were drinking that wonderfully,
refreshing tea. We were sitting at the entrance
of the hut gazing out at the desert drinking our tea in companiable
silence having just finished our extensive chat on the progress of her
child . I was struck by the emptiness of what we were looking at - a sandy, vast expanse of nothingness going on and on.
And then suddenly out of the emptiness , a goatherd and a herd of goats filing their way home, appeared in the distance across our vision, filling the nothingness. The child's mother and I exchanged a complicit glance and smile . I knew she had also felt an echo of the desolation that had accompanied that emptiness and we were relieved at the appearance of the goat herd with his goats, pattering by in the distance.
Looking out onto the desert from the threshold of a house in Niger |
And then suddenly out of the emptiness , a goatherd and a herd of goats filing their way home, appeared in the distance across our vision, filling the nothingness. The child's mother and I exchanged a complicit glance and smile . I knew she had also felt an echo of the desolation that had accompanied that emptiness and we were relieved at the appearance of the goat herd with his goats, pattering by in the distance.
I had that same feeling of relief recently in May on an early
morning drive to Carrick on Shannon to do a 5k run in aid of the
prevention of suicide charity Pieta House.This charity was set up by a lady called Joan Freeman a practising psychologist who closed down her counselling businessand dedicated her time to finding out how she could help people who were suicidal - what would be beneficial to them and help them get through their dark time. After 3 years of research she opened up Pieta House which quickly became a recognised and respected service for those who were suicidal. Every year during May they
arrange an event called From Darkness into Light .The event is a
run or walk that starts before dawn and by the time it is finished it is
dawn. It takes place in towns and villages all over Ireland. It is very evocative as one is running or walking literally from
darkness into light. Darkness into Light is very much about hope and hope is something Pieta House endeavours to give each person who comes to them in times of need.And so it was that I started out ,driving at 3 am to Carrick on
Shannon. It was like looking out on that empty desert in Niger except
that now it was empty darkness that I was looking at. And then, as I was
driving along I looked over towards the east and felt relieved as I began to see an
almost imperceptible streel of light in the sky - a something in the
nothingness. Later on after a few minutes I noticed a few cars stealing
out of driveways or turning out of boreens. There seemed to be an awful
lot of them for this time of the morning. Then I realised. They were
also going to the Darkness into Light event. When I got to
Carrick-on-Shannon I just followed all the cars to know where the venue
was. At the sports hall where it was held, loads of people were milling
around. The organisers were handing out yellow T shirts and little
yellow plastic candles.
The wee yellow candles we all held on the Darkness into Light Run |
And so we all lined up in an excited huddle and began the
run. I had not been running that regularly so was a bit nervous. But as
we started through the darkened ,quiet streets of Carrick on Shannon and
along the paths by the River Shannon with the dawn coming in ahead of
us, I felt exhilarated and full of energy. I was going to Spain the next
day to do a part of the Camino de Santiago pilgrimage/walk. So
today seemed an auspicious start.
Starting off in Carrick on Shannon in the dark. |
I settled into the somewhat hypnotic rhythmn of the run -
that almost zen like state when your body is settling well
into a run and all is focused. Reeds on the River Shannon swayed and
looked silvery in the greyish hue that was heralding the dawn arriving .
Feet pounding, we all ran away from the river and through the still
sleeping town as if we were racing the incoming dawn. Shapes lightened
into the early morning and became structures and we started to switch
off our wee yellow candles as darkness fell away. And so it was that we
came from darkness into light.
On the last half mile we were running uphill. People were blowing and puffing like steam trains and some stopped running with a breathless shrug and fell back into a walk. I was struggling and, like a pit pony pulling it's load of coal, hurled myself into the shafts so to speak, for this last hard half mile. Up ahead of me there was a mother with her 2 daughters. I could see the daughters on either side of their mother encouraging her to keep running, to keep going. I fell in behind them and set my pace to theirs. I was about the same age as their mother and felt a kinship with this little group. We all struggled up the hill and then saw ahead of us the finish. Our pace quickened just like the morning was also starting to and we all felt exhilarated as we ran triumphantly towards the end. As we ran we congratulated each other, all united by that struggle up the hill and also united by having gone from darkness into light on a May morning in Carrick on Shannon. And the realisation as we ran towards the milling crowd around the finish line, that the same event was happening in many towns all over Ireland that morning.
There is a saying by Henry David Thoreau that " If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away". However sometimes when a you are struggling, when it seems the emptiness never fills, that it is always dark, that there is no hope, that you just cannot climb that final hill - that may be the time to set your pace with another and let someone help you to see that streel of light imperceptibly beginning to light the darkness.
"The darkest hour is just before the dawn"
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